Hearts And Souls
The Observatory

normal days in our normal lives
do we wish for something more?
normal days in our normal lives
where there's usually nothing more
normal days in our normal lives
so what are we waiting for?
normal days in our normal lives
where there's usually nothing more

can we ever know?
the meaning of our hearts and our souls

what are we missing again?

And there's this guilt at times for having luck with things in general. So does karma exist? I don't know. I'm feeling the silly argh-ness of sorting out nonsensical thoughts and listening to the Obs (yes all 3 CDs worth of tracks) doesn't help much.

It's so hard to think coherently. Today was a lesson once again because I couldn't comprehend. And so I felt annoyed with my seemingly lack of ability to understand.

I want a nice dog. I would like to go on long walks with it and then we can sit at the park and just be happy in our thoughts-- happy dog and happy owner. I wish I could have a living, breathing pet with me. And so I can talk to it and it can look at me with those "I understand" type of eyes and I would then feel it was all worth it, if just for Dog. And my type of dog would be a beagle. I love beagles. I do love golden retrievers and spaniels and terriers too. Well to be honest, I can't decide, but when I do see the dog of my life I will know it is The Dog.

Actually I want to work in the zoo. But I might get bird flu. I'm so paranoid. >.<

And Eldest has flown the coop. I feel sad. The feeling didn't really strike until tonight when I was sitting down and then it struck me that it might be the last time we're in the same country. Because when we both graduate, I mightn't be here, and he likewise might not return.

Leaving is hard, and it's just the way life is. We live together, we part, we meet again. Everything is impermanent and change is the only constant (sure is!).

But hopefully I'll meet you soon next year.

I just want a nice fluffy noisy dog. And we'll grow old together.

Labels: dogs, family, the observatory, thoughts.